Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Fighting your insecurities and demons.

Have you ever said 'Excuse the spot on my chin' or 'bad hair day today' just so that people wouldn't judge you or mention it behind your back to others. You lay all your insecurities about something so that they are out there and people will not be able to judge you as much now because they know. 

My name is Crissy, and I do this a lot!!!!

I never thought I would share this post, and it has taken me a few weeks to write but it was something I realised when I hit the gym recently that I struggled with; confidence and body insecurities. Having read so many other bloggers insecurities, I thought it was only fair that I share mine too.
As lame as this sounds, I would rather take a selfie then have my
picture taken because that way I am in control.
Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy taking
selfies (on my own), but its a way of me managing things.

One of the first things they mention to you when you go for a job interview is how you sell yourself; body language make sure you smile, use eye contact, you get my drift. It is fair to say that I have always struggled with this. This is a reason why I often look down when I walk. 

Recently during a PT session, I couldn't do a simple weight pick up, because my body was so tight and hunched over. My trainer was always telling me to look up as I often looked down when working out. I didn't realise that it would effect my posture. It was only when I told him about my confidence issues, we worked on some simple back workouts and on my posture; I noticed a difference. I still have a lot of work to do, but it's a start and I thank Troy for listening and helping me in that. 

My body insecurities have always been an issue. I wouldn't say I am not happy with my body, but there are things I would change. I'm Spanish and have dark hair...you can guess. Having hair in places that you wish you didn't. This will always be my demon. I was teased at in school for having hair on my arms, it was horrible and I remember crying when people would say something about it. I was close to waxing it all off once, but the pain of having to re-wax would drive me insane. Besides, it wasn't just my arms where it was visible. I know everybody has it, but it is a bummer when yours is dark and everybody else's around you is fair. 

A few years ago, I went to Harley Street and had laser hair removal on my bikini line. One of the best things I have ever done. The results have been amazing. That really helped build on my confidence and I would love to do more, but it will take time and saving to do this as it doesn't come cheap and its not pain free.

Meeting new people is still a struggle and I have been told by many people including good friends that I struggle with eye contact; something that I already knew but never mentioned. I have a thing about people looking at me; what are they thinking, have I got a spot, is there something in my teeth? Aaaarrrgghhh!!!

Confidence will always be an issue because of my insecurities. It will always be there, but what I am trying to say is; it's the way you handle them. Please do not let your insecurities define who you are. Work with them, that is what I am trying to do and I am getting there slowly. This is a reason why I started blogging; to be out of my comfort zone. People are always telling me, you won't know unless you try. Do I always listen...of course not but it's always there just in case. 

So here we go. I hope it wasn't too depressing. The next one will be bubbly. 

Lots of love


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