Monday, 12 October 2015

Mental Health Day

This week was World Mental Health day. I wouldn't normally talk about this so openly but then, that is the problem; we should be talking about it more. 

Now I must make this very clear, I am no expert in this area and some may say that I haven't a clue what I am talking about, I can only go by what I have experienced which I am sharing. 

I recently wrote a piece about my confidence, however this topic has always been something that has been near me for a very long time. I have seen depression at its worst but I have also seen it at its best. I have lived with this in my life for a very long time. It's not easy and you wake up each day expecting the unexpected. This was something I was becoming accustomed to. 

In my opinion the only way you can seek help is to first admit to yourself that you need help. I began this blog after a really horrible break up. I was able to put a brave face in front of everyone but deep down I was in a really bad place and  beginning to suffer from anxiety. 

I often felt that I couldn't breathe and everything was getting on top of me. Then came a very important week in my working career. This is when I felt the most alone. I couldn't breathe, I was overthinking everything, making myself panic and worry. I wasn't thinking straight. It was at this point, my boss told me to go straight to the doctor. This was the best advice I was given. The doctor told me I needed to take some time of work as I was beginning to show systems pf post traumatic stress and anxiety. I did this and managed to get some of my strength back. 

This year my anxiety came back after getting some news. I have always been one to over analyse everything and I always think the worst. I am my own worst enemy at times and really hard on myself. It wasn't until somebody told me that I should see somebody about my anxiety that it actually made me think. 

Speaking about it with friends does help but you feel that you are being a burden on them. I have an amazing group of friends, who I cannot praise enough, but even they must get tired of listening to me. 

The gym has also been a place where I can just go and not have to think. Like I have mentioned before, I was never a gym girl, and the thought of going to the gym or even doing PE at school was a big no no. But now it is my safe haven. I love going there, playing my music and work out. We all know about my curse of personal trainers but working out with them is painful but the result is always rewarding. I always feel I have fulfilled something when I have completed a session, even though it means that the days after I can barely walk, sit or run. My new trainer Alex makes training fun and I laugh a lot, even when I cannot climb down the stairs. I love training with him (there will be a post about my PT sessions coming soon). 

I am not saying that you have to go to the gym, but find something that you can enjoy and forget about the world for a bit. Give yourself time (something that is so precious) and please please please talk to someone. If you can't talk to a friend, then there are great places where you can talk to professionals who are always there to help. I did this when I started university and I cannot tell you how helpful it was. The people are super friendly. They know which questions to ask and they never judge you. 

But above all, remember you are not alone. 

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